Rules of conduct:

This book isn't an ordinary book, and I am not an ordinary author. As such, extraordinary rules of conduct must be observed when you meet me.

1. Do not make direct eye contact with me.
2. You must adhere to the following procedure when shaking my hand:

i. Stand directly in front of me with both feet together.
ii. Extend your arm in front of you and wait for me to engage if I choose to do so.
iii. If I grant you a hand shake, you may hold my hand, pump once or twice, and then promptly let go. I will then wipe my hand with a moist towelette, and you will bow, step aside and quickly walk away.

3. You must stand at least 3 feet (1 m) apart from me at all times.

4. Do not talk directly to me. If you want to tell me something, write it down and hand it to an assistant.

5. Formal attire is encouraged (suit + tie if possible).

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