read part 1!

Am I asking you to give up all of your principles on this subject? No. If *you* are planning an event with an open invitation to the whole group, you are free to *suggest* appearance guidelines for your event. You are free to suggest whatever guidelines you like and give whatever reasons you like. If though, it is 1. open to the whole group, and 2. at a public venue that does not have a dress code, then it's not fair to make any appearance *requirements.* Suggestions, sure. Requirements, no. Ok , but you just absolutely positively can't deal with someone wearing jeans to your party? Easy, make it *private.* That is, send personal invitations to people you think will be willing to meet your dress code. There's nothing wrong with doing this! Life is full of private parties. They have their place. And open invitation parties are fun too.

One valid concern is that when we venture out into public, the public sees us as representatives of transwomen everywhere, and we have the responsibility to our sisters to promote acceptance by presenting a positive image. Unfortunately, there's some truth to that. The truth is that we are still novel enough to many people that we are often forming their first impressions, impressions from which they are likely to form narrow opinions about the entire huge and diverse transgender landscape. The unfortunate part comes from the fact that we really are so amazingly diverse, and that everyone on TG landscape is equally deserving of respect, no matter how high their hemline. Attempts to make the public think of TGs as passable girls-next-door are flawed. We don't all look like that. We don't all *want* to look like that. What we all want is acceptance and respect.

Another valid concern is safety. Certain appearances in certain places are just asking for trouble. You all know that, so, just don't be stupid, ok?

Finally, as group leader, here's my official T Party policy on proper dress: Don't break laws, and try to be nice to each other. Consequences of breaking laws are that you can get in trouble with the police and the courts. Consequences of not being nice to people are that they might not like you as much.

Sonia :)